Thank you to Full Moon for being the Beer Wench. 

1. Hares on the ice! Clit the Clown, Full Moon, and Agonorrhea put on a fabulous trail run. Opinion ranged from “It was fantastic!” (Just Makko) to “It was the best hash I’ve had in that last 12 months” (Sperm Polluter ….. who has not hashed with the Jungle for the last 12 months). Thank you to the hares!
2. Hash Crash – there were no hash crashes on this run but we did acknowledge the amazing determination to survive the dangerous highways of Thailand in the dark of night that Ball Ringer demonstrated. Seemingly unphased by his brush with death in a car accident two weeks ago, Ball Ringer happily sat on the ice and took his down down.
3. Raffle – here were the lucky bastards that went home with Jungle loot. Thank you to Burl Ives (Hash Raffle) for purchasing the winnings.
   • Full Moon – Shampoo and Conditioner package
   • Limp Dick – Brandy
   • Agonorrhea – Clan Fraser Whiskey
   • Antique – Brandy
   • Twanx – Rice Cooker
4. Welcome to the New Jungle Committee – We sang a song for the suckers who decided to sacrifice their time and energy so that other people can sing and drink and run to their heart’s content. Thank you to the new Jungle Committee.
5. “Just the tip – I swear!” – Thank you to Happy Survivor for always bringing in virgins to the Jungle. Today she brought “almost virgins” who did their first hash on Monday with the PH3 (Just Makko, Just Phil, Just Joanne).
6. Returners – We sang a warm welcome for the “fat lazy bastards” we haven’t seen in a while: Sperm Polluter, Cocktail, Beverly HIlls Pink Cock, Sunshine, Sunrise, Kermit the Frog, and Agonorrhea. We hope to see you regularly from now on!
7. Short Cutters – Even though a lot of trees were sacrificed to lay the amount of paper the hares used for the run, Fattus Maximus started hallucinating trail and conveniently, those hallucinations resulted in a shorter run.
8. Fake News – Boring Wanker posted a delicious teaser of the sandwiches he and Black Panther were making for Jungle dinner. In a strange and hilarious twist, Black Panther, with no prompting at all, threw Boring Wanker under the bus revealing that the fake picture was posted before she had even started making the sandwiches! Despite this super weird turn of events, dinner was yummy – thank you to the new Hash Nosh couple.
9. Website stats – it’s clear to see that GI Joe and Squeeze my Tube are Hash OG. Anal Compulsion (Web Geek) organized the stats to show the hashers with the most runs first and GI Joe has run an incredible 452 runs with Squeeze my Tube coming in second with 392 runs.
10. “John? Who’s John?” – Some hashers are continually confused as to who their fellow hashers are. On the hash, we use hash names! Tonight, the confused hashers were Arse Bandit, Drinks Like a Girl, Clit the Clown, and Antique.

Announcements:

• Hares will no longer have to buy snacks or be responsible for finding paper. The Hash Committee has got your back! Speak to Cannonball or Drinks Like a Girl for more details.