Run #519 Highlights
Thank you to Cannonball for being the Beer Wench.
1. Hares on the ice! Squeeze My Tube and GI Joe put on a fabulous trail run. Opinions ranged from “I’m so grateful they kept the rain away!” (Anal Compulsion) to “The water just kept dirtier and dirtier …..” (Spastic Whore King). Sir Wanda thought “it was really nice scenery”. We all agreed it was really well marked and a lovely walk and run. Thank you to the hares!
2. Hash Crash …. Kind of …. – The GM called for anyone who had a hash crash and Absolutely F*n Clueless ran to the ice to tell the harrowing tale of how he ALMOST fell. A vine came out of nowhere and wrapped itself around his leg to trip him but his fall was thankfully broken by Bell End who was physically crushed in her efforts to watch over both AFC and Ball Ringer.
3. Raffle – here were the lucky bastards that went home with Jungle loot. Thank you to Burl Ives (Hash Raffle) for purchasing the winnings and to the generous hashers who donated prizes.
- Squeeze My Tube – Whiskey
- Bell End – Brandy
- Pat Pom – Camouflage Style Camel Back (donated)
- Flying Dick – Whiskey
- Full Moon – Hat (donated)
- Miss Use Me – Shampoo and Conditioner
4. Get a Life, Get a Life, Get a Life, Life, Life – Snake Bite and Pat Pom got their 50th run patch today. Congratulations!
5. You Fat Lazy Bastards, You Weren’t Even Here! – Welcome back to returners (Last Run): Shithead (498), Sir Wanda (426), Mr. Cheap (432), Slave Trafficker (512), and Just Stacey (512)
6. Race-ist Behaviour – Boring Wanker and Seal Sucker felt the wind in their hair as they sprinted through the 9km trail to “win the hash”.
7. While the Cat’s Away ….. – Shy Tiger usually runs the trail but today she decided to walk. Her reason? Herring Choker is away at the moment and Shy Tiger was exhausted from all the shopping that she did on Friday in his absence.
8. Wanker of the Week – The Nigerian left Bangkok at 10am and proceeded to battle traffic for hours on hours, getting to the hash about an hour late. His valiant spirit would not let him give up the glory of a hash run so off he went and completed the whole 9 km. To reward him, Black Panther prepared some of the delicious dinner (stewed pork on macaroni) but The Nigerian’s moral compass would not allow him to eat something that had once been a living and breathing animal. So to honor his valor and integrity, we made fun of him for a full five minutes and gave him a jester’s hat to wear for the rest of the circle. Congratulations to our first Wanker of the Week!
9. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire – Boring Wanker, in his quest to keep the hash on their toes, posted another fake news photo of a plate of paella in the Jungle Line group. Of course, as the Hash Nosh, everyone assumed that paella was on the menu for the Jungle. But Boring Wanker had the last laugh when he said “I never SAID I was making Paella. I just posted that picture and everyone jumped to conclusions!” Thankfully, the pork stew that Boring Wanker and Black Panther made for everyone was plentiful and very delicious.
10. On On! – The next hares were called on the ice: Arse Bandit, Fatus Maximus, and Kilt Lifter. Fattus Maximus will be a virgin hare. Come out and support them on June 15!
